So I was really hoping to be able to post this on a positive note, however it may be more fitting that it comes on a filthy disgusting horrible downslide.

Ok, first the good: I make a pledge to semi-clean up my act, get more focused and motivated and in return I try to "live the dream," and turn poker into a part-time investment, so to speak. A $25 game could yield a profit of $100-$200 a week. Now to some of my friends who play bigger limits and have the hopes of playing the highest stakes this sounds like chump change, a waste of time. While I totally understand, and could agree with a lot of what they are saying, the fact remains that my motivations and responsibilities are much different than theirs and I need a workable, realistic plan that could actually be put in place.

I took the conservative route and gave myself a 40 unit cushion. That means I "purchased," forty $25 games. The common advice from the experts, is anywhere from 20 minimum to 40 "buy-ins" will give you enough cushion to see where you are at. To me it was unreal that after almost 3 years of damn near being a degenerate gambler, I had studied and prepared enough to try and take a shot at this. Needless to say the odds were against me.

I expected to dip a little bit, kind of like when you do a cannon ball into an unknown depth of water before I would "pop" up again and be able to swim amongst the sharks. I started down, but immediately climbed my way out of the black and even up 4 buy-ins, bringing my unit total from 40 to 44 within the first 6 days. Every four buy-ins represents $100, which is also the minimum amount required to cash out from Full Tilt. My agreement with the wife was that every $100, I cash out, which I approximated would be once a week or a slightly higher amount every 2 weeks or so.

Then the infamous "Swings" that no-limit Texas Hold'em is notorious for came into play. My 44 (well back to 40 with the cash out) suddenly swung down to 35 buy-ins, which is typically not that bad except it all came within the span of three days. Now, it is known that players play worse or sub-optimally when upset or "tilting," but holy fuck, losing also has a good way of showing you in explicit, impossible to deny, right in front of your face proof how shitty your decision making can be. The strangest part for me is the habitual habit (yes, repetitive) of giving back hard-earned money. I'll play a hand perfectly against a specifically picked out target, get his entire stack and then blunder it away to some monkey who was bluffing me the entire way.

The point is that, although it is gambling, poker is one of those things that is an exact replica of life. Shoddy decisions and brash actions, unless well-timed and with purpose, will usually leave you scratching your head and looking to buy more chips.

"Running bad," is a term typically used to describe just plain old bad luck. It happens, again, its gambling. Poker is especially deceptive (and in some opinions great) because without the bad luck beats, there would be no bad players consistently trying to play the game (look no further than the author =P

You combine poor decision making AND running bad together and you may have found the formula for insanity. It can be pretty mind-numbing at times, but I think this is a new threshold that I am learning to avoid. There is literally a point where your eyes have been looking at the same thing, and your brain has been analyzing situation after situation that you are doing yourself (and your bankroll) a disservice. It's literally been 4 days of kill myself, two days of eh, things are looking better, back to getting blamboozled everywhere I look. My 40 unit investment is currently at 27. Getting it back over 30, preferably the 34ish range is the goal for this week going forward.

I'm going to give it my utmost attention for the next couple hours... my goal is to honestly rate how things are going and then set up a little break for the next few days or day. My brain is feeling mushy but very upbeat, I consider this a good sign.

Till the next entry... here are some lovely hand examples of what's been happening lately:

This one was pretty disgusting, can't ask them to play any worse.

Hand converter-Pokerhand.org

Full Tilt Poker, $0.10/0.25 No Limit Hold'em Cash Games, 6 Players

Hand Converter by the Pokerhand.org community

Board:

SB: $26.19

BB: $40.38

UTG: $24.65

UTG+1: $25.29

CO: $25

Button: $21.98

Dealt to: BB

Pre-flop:

(3 folds), SB raises to $.75, BB raises to $2.50, SB raises to $7, BB calls $4.50,

Flop:($14.35) (3 Players)

SB bets $9, BB raises to $33.38 and is all-in, SB calls $10.19 and is all-in,

Turn: ($52.73) (3 Players)

River: ($52.73) (3 Players)

Results:

BB Showed

SB Showed

BB returns $14.19,
SB wins $49.77

I'm so stubborn, the board has to be this obvious for me to fold. (Spoiler: he had a straight flush)

Hand converter-Pokerhand.org

Full Tilt Poker, $0.10/0.25 No Limit Hold'em Cash Games, 6 Players

Hand Converter by the Pokerhand.org community

Board:

Button: $25.60

SB: $36.83

BB: $33.96

UTG: $21.23

UTG+1: $25

CO: $24.22

Dealt to: Button

Pre-flop:

UTG raises to $.50, UTG+1 calls $.50, (1 folds), Button calls $.50, (1 folds), BB calls $.25,

Flop:($2.10) (4 Players)

BB checks, UTG bets $.50, UTG+1 calls $.50, Button calls $.50, BB calls $.50,

Turn: ($4.10) (4 Players)

BB checks, UTG checks, UTG+1 bets $2.50, Button calls $2.50, BB calls $2.50, (1 folds),

River: ($11.60) (3 Players)

BB checks, UTG+1 bets $4, (1 folds), BB calls $4,

Results:

UTG+1 Showed

UTG+1 wins $18.62

Like too many spots, I played this so awful. This was the perfect spot for a huge bluff and it probably would have worked 98% of the time, but I got too timid, plus I just play bad =)

Hand converter-Pokerhand.org