So back to the name, Smoking Loon-- It's basically symbolic of me. Because for the last year or so, this is exactly what I have been. Let me explain; I smoke a lot of marijuana. Chronic. Reefer. Ganja. Cannabis. I think it's necessary to talk about this, because for better or worse, this strange and wonderful little plant has had a tremendous impact in my life.
I could probably do a whole entry about my views on marijuana (and now it only seems appropriate), but it basically boils down to this: After years of recreational use, questioning, quitting, then coming back again; I am now of the opinion that if used properly or better put- properly used- marijuana can be greatly beneficial to whoever seeks out its benefits.
Potentially the greatest aspect of marijuana is it's benefits. Or rather, the wide array of benefits that it offers. Depression, Insomnia. Anxiety, Pain Relief. Migraines, ADD, Anorexia, the list truly goes on and on.
So here is where the challenge comes. Personally, I use marijuana to combat ADD, Insomnia and Anxiety IF I were forced to label it medically. If you were to just ask me normally, I would tell you I like the way it makes me feel and think.
Marijuana has taken the limits of my thinking to such clarity, that at some point in my drug induced lucidity, I realized that it was in fact, myself, Edgar Rascon, accomplishing all this wonderful "clear" thinking and focus optimization, and that the plant was only giving me a momentary feeling of good, which allowed me to do what I needed to do ie, focus, act more social, etc.
So... ok. I could continue to smoke and reap whatever benefits I deem neccesary to keep me happy and motivated and the problem is solved, right? Well, sort of.... This is pretty much the conclusion I came to about a year ago. And for the most part it worked. Acecy tolerated me smoking as long as I kept it away from Alexander, not that she needed to ask that, but of course, I obliged.
The biggest problem with marijuana, at least from a smokers perspective, is that its too fucking expensive! $20 a gram, $50 an eight (3.5 grams) is just riduculous. Anyone claiming this to be a good deal is either getting charged up the ass or retarded. But whatever, details, details...
The point is, that to properly use it as I stated above, one needs to stay within their monetary limits. You can't use something properly and go broke trying to do so ... although, I have been there before. With those prices, it's tough to do so.
So how does this all relate to me? I'm in the process of trying to learn how to become a professional poker player, no easy feat to say the least. Pursuing this objective has taught me things about myself that I never wanted to learn. It has forced me to pay attention to things that I was too lazy to pay attention too before. It has taught me that there are some things that we know about ourselves that are wrong or undesirable, but that are more comfortable to keep doing than to fix.
This is where my journey begins. Imagine a world where your habits and thinking tendencies are the ultimate deciding factors of your happiness in life. I have chosen to pursue a profession where this is true everyday. Continually make bad decisions and go broke. Make good decisions and whenever possible, the right decision, and you will get rewarded.
Smoking marijuana costs something, in this case money, but so does becoming a winning poker player. Being that I am a temp, and can only hope to get paid slightly more than that in a real job, I cannot afford to continue to do both. Therefore, I have decided that even though I think its ultimately good for me, I will suspend using marijuana until I am in a better financial situation to do so.
It's going to hurt. It's going to suck, but ultimately it's neccesary. I can probably save $200 a month by not using mary j and in 6 months that should be enough to take poker to the next level.
It may be silly but it's what I have chosen. Any questions/comments? The bottle is done now and so is this blog.... thank you for listening.
